My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
pop tarts are not kleenex
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
