I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
