i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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