Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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