The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
