This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
