You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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