I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
