Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need a beard to bite.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
