it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize