I just pynch a tree in the face
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
