tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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