Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
