I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
