at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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