belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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