she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
