do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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