I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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