He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need to calm my uterus...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
