he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize