We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
