perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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