Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
