I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize