you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night