were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand