I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.