We need to rekindle our bromance
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt