it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
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My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.