Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
