it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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