He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My ATM looks so different sober.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....