Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.