Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
