Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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