But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
