just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
