I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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