You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
