Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
