Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
