It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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