My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
