I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
