I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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