Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
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