Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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