How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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