Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
