Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
