is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
