Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
