going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
