I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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