when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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