i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
