its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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