My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
