I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
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Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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