When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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