You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
