this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You did what with his pubic hair?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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